San Francisco Journal - May '65 - May '66

May 14, 1965 – No money, no tickets, but we can hear the music. The Byrds and The Beau Brummels opening up for The Rolling Stones. There's lots of weed. A lot of people tripping. I don't know. A little nervous about it. Mae says, "It's you. You'll love it," and she's a fox so I do. The doors to the auditorium are open. Sitting on the sidewalk. People coming and going. No one bothering us. Spaced out, then "Laugh, Laugh, I thought I’d die,/ it seemed so funny to me." Mae said, "I like this song," and started to laugh. "Oh, but it's sad though," she said. Home. My thoughtscape is continually spiraling into itself, much like the tectonic plates that form the Earth's crust. I must emphasis that this turmoil was swift beyond measure, and not at all like tectonic plates. Stack of 45s, "Go Now" by the Moodies, "Ticket to Ride," Zombies, "Tell Her No," "Ferry Cross the Mersey."

August 13, 1965 – New band called The Jefferson Airplane performed at the Matrix. Smoky and intimate, a mural of four men on horseback, like in the Apocalypse, but carrying instruments. with Mae and Brett. Ate mushrooms. Reminded me of unsweetened Baker's chocolate. Nothing really, but the colors were particularly groovy. I spent some time walking around the club with Mae and a guy named Spooky. We were talking about death, and my fear of it. He said "You can't get out of life alive" which struck me as very profound. "Scares me, man," I said. He said, "Then you're already dead." 

September 2, 1965 – Beatles at the Cow Palace. Pandemonium as fans rushed the stage. They sang "Rain" and "Baby’s in Black." Couldn't hear. Screaming. Met a girl named Elle. She had tabs she called yellow microdot. Saw Mae in the parking lot. Grabbed the girl's hand and we got in her car. Asked me to a party by the Presidio. The ride over I was calm. Usually, I don't like to be in a car tripping. Too confined. Especially when the driver is also tripping, but I felt in control of my faculties. Even though everything was grooving and flowing and being trippy, I wasn't out of it at all. Arrived at a white house  full of people. I sat there and smiled at everyone and tried to be inconspicuous. Elle wanted to dance and all I really felt like doing was sitting and grooving. She got frustrated with me and went off to dance by herself. Like a go-go girl. Somebody put on Dragnet. She's slim and pretty. A hand wielding a silver hammer.

October 15, 1965 – The Great Society performed at the opening of the Coffee Gallery. Band members include Darby, Jerry and Grace Slick. Remember them. Next day, Family Dog Collective Dance and Concert, a tribute to Dr. Strange, at Longshoremen's Hall with The Jefferson Airplane, The Charlatans, and the Great Society. Straight night.

November 6, 1965 – Took three hits of blotter with Mae. Don't see her much anymore. At The Jefferson Airplane with The Fugs. In between songs we stop and kiss a while. Kissing on LSD is phenomenal. With eyes closed, each kiss generates beautiful, surging images behind my eyelids. It feels like we're merged at the point of contact and each kiss seems to last an eternity. As we break away Mae says "That's nice." I had to agree. Got home and listened to The Jefferson Airplane Takes Off.

December 10, 1965 – Band called The Grateful Dead, used to be The Warlocks, at the Fillmore Auditorium. The Jefferson Airplane, The Great Society, the John Handy Quintet, the Mystery Trend, and Sam Thomas there too. Hawaiian Sunshine; like wearing yellow sunglasses.

N0w [crossed out] New Yeras. TV on Mae scering me [gibberish]. Hartfull of sole keeps playing its stuck so I kick it and Mae is mad and she looks ugly... Later, put on "Positively 4^th Street." She says, "This is the best song." "It is the best song." We sang it, "You got a lotta nerve to say you are my friend. When I was down you just stood there grinning." "You do that, you know?" "I don’t do that." "You do though. You went home with that girl." Heard "Positively 4^th Street" on the radio later and "Get Off of My Cloud" and Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, "A Taste of Honey."

January 21, 1966 – Three-day Trips Festival at Longshoremen's Hall, 400 North Point St. featured The Grateful Dead, Big Brother and the Holding Company, The Loading Zone, Chinese New Years' Lion Dancers and Drum and Bugle Corps, Stroboscopic Trampoline, and Ken Kesey and His Merry Pranksters. (He's the guy who wrote the Cuckoo's Nest book.) This is some cool shit. Mae not really seeing me. Saw Elle there. She's a stone cold fox. Ate some mescaline. Feeling like I was sucked out. Had to concentrate on the music. Later, it was what they call an acid test. A dude handing out acid and I took it and I sat down on a step and I just cried. Elle was sitting next to me and when she spoke I could hear my mother's voice, "Quit crying or I’ll give you something to cry about." Then Elle said, "What's there to cry about?" and I said, "It's so beautiful." Don't know if I passed the acid test. We laughed about that. She said, "You ought to study more."

May 20, 1966. Lost my journal cuz the cat pushed it behind the bureau. Saw The Jefferson Airplane at the Fillmore in February.  Saw The Great Society, Quicksilver Messenger Service, and Big Brother and the Holding Company. Saw Sopwith Camel at the Firehouse. Tonight I saw Capt. Beefheart and His Magic Band at the Avalon Ballroom, Sutter and Van Ness Street. Took four tabs of blotter with smiley moons on them. Had toast for dinner. Called my mother. "People" was on the radio.

May 27, 1966 – Saw The Velvet Underground and Andy Warhol's Exploding Plastic Inevitable. He's the Brillo Guy. Song called "All Tomorrow's Parties." Trippy lights and dancers. Just a nice hashish high. The crowd not into it. "Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?" I don't know if I said it out loud. Mothers of Invention. Weird fuckers jamming. Walked to the Haight just to hang. The streets were deserted. It was cold. I had my transistor and the Giants were playing and I switched it over. "Time Won't Let Me" by The Outsiders. I can see the orange and yellow Capitol label spinning on the phonograph.